We all have this to some extent but being aware of it and putting it in it’s rightful place is not so easy.
It’s that little, mean voice poking its nose in your business, making you doubt yourself, keeping you second guessing, turning in circles and playing small.
Whose voice is that anyway? Pay attention. It may sound like someone you know from your childhood, a family member, or just a mean, bully version of yourself.
If I listen closely, my inner mean girl can be a sarcastic, eye-rolling, contemptuous, nasty piece of work. Her barbed comments land right in my most sensitive, vulnerable places. She picks at the raw wounds that had only just begun to heal. Lovely stuff right?
And if I let her get louder, her jibes, poking and put-downs gain momentum and before I know it, I begin to really believe I’m not good enough, not qualified enough, dreaming too big etc. According to her, really, who do I think I am?
This mean girl or boy that may be in residence in your mind is a feature of Imposter Syndrome and behind a lot of self-sabotaging behaviours.
With Imposter Syndrome – which seems to be more prevalent in women – the real-life evidence that you are more than capable, and that others also think you are, isn’t to be believed. According to the mean voice, you don’t deserve any of it and sooner or later others will find out..
So what to do? First step is to be present, observe and practice finding your centre – especially when you notice that voice.
Easier said than done of course. But there are many techniques to help you do this and it takes practice. Our Monday Mediation & Prioritisation Group is one tool.
And to my mean girl, thank you for working so hard to keep me safe, but your time is coming to an end.