The Valued Self forms our innate authentic power and its ability to operate and express itself in the ever-changing moment. On a personal level it is the capacity to set and express healthy boundaries with friends, family, and partners. On a professional level, it is the capacity to earn and spend money as well as to only align ourselves with stakeholders who value our ideas, time, and energy.

Ask yourself “What positive changes might occur if I placed more energy on the individuals who value me the most?”

Anytime you choose to embark upon self-enquiry it is important that you first bring yourself into the space of the heart. It may be helpful to meditate or engage in mindful breathing exercises before commencing.

If you are new to meditation or my practice, I invite you to join our Facebook group, Playing Bigger Playing Beautiful, and familiarise yourself with my philosophies and style. Once your join request is approved, you will be greeted with a meditation to get you started. Click here to access it.  

I’m so proud of the community we have built. Not only is it inclusive and welcoming but it is accessible to those from a full spectrum of both spiritual and business experience. This diversity is the strength of our community as it allows for, and encourages, members to lend their skills and experiences to support one another, whether that be emotionally, mentally, or energetically. We are of the belief that contributing to the richness of the community is as fulfilling as drawing from it. 

Connecting with The Valued Self is crucial for those who wish to have a greater connection with their self-worth. For many women, people-pleasing is deeply entrenched in how we show up in the world and can be tied to deeper, often historical, meaning. Unlearning these tendencies is challenging but possible with an increased connection to The Valued Self.  

Are you able to distinguish between your rational brain, emotional heart, and intuitive gut? Utilising this awareness, are you able to hone in on your spirituality, make healthy choices, learn from past experience, and free yourself from patterns that don’t serve you. Could you even use that wisdom to grow your business?

Our self-enquiry exercise explores The Valued Self, examining our response to whatever arises when we contemplate our value beyond amiability and servitude. 

If you are someone who has trouble saying no, setting boundaries, or resisting people-pleasing behaviours, connecting with The Valued Self could be immensely transformative. By increasing our awareness of The Valued Self we begin to understand that our value is not dependent on what we can do for others but rather is innate and constant.  

Connecting with this concept has the power to free us of behaviours that don’t align with our values, purpose, or self-care. It enables us to become aware that our worth does not decrease if we, at times, prioritise ourselves over others. It enables us to see that those around us who fail to understand our occasional unavailability are the people who we should ultimately let go of. 

Levels of Understanding

If you are familiar with my work, and in particular with my model of emotional self-inquiry The 6 Selves™,  you will know that there are three levels of understanding that inform connections to the self and how it manifests and impacts both your personal and professional life.

Level 1 – Intellect (Mind) – How we comprehend and make sense of the world around us 

Level 2 – Emotion (Body) – How we physically feel the experience

Level 3  – Energetic (Spirit) – How we connect in to something greater than ourselves 


The Valued Self – Mind

In this post, we are looking at the Intellect (Mind) and how this connects to The Valued Self. The questions I have prepared are repetitive as this will help drill down into deeper, often subconscious, levels of meaning. 

  1. What are my thoughts when I am connected to my valued self?
  2. What are my thoughts when I consider how I am valued by those around me?
  3. What are my thoughts when I say ‘yes’ to others?
  4. What are my thoughts when I say ‘no’ to others?
  5. What are my thoughts when I’m connected to people who respect my boundaries?
  6. What are my thoughts when I’m connected to people who do respect my boundaries?
  7. What are my thoughts when I prioritise my own self-care?
  8. What are my thoughts when I don’t prioritise my own self-care?

These self-enquiry questions have the capacity to bring up uncomfortable and even suppressed feelings. Please be gentle with yourself as you unearth these truths. Remember to sit with any reaction you may have — both positive and disquieting — and show yourself the same kindness you would extend to a beloved friend. With time, this exploratory practice will become easier. 

My next post will further explore The Valued Self at a level two understanding. I’m looking forward to sharing it with you. 

Big Love, 

Deb x 

For more information on how to work with me to go deeper into the benefits of The 6 Selves™ and the outcomes you can achieve when you focus intentionally on these areas visit